How to Know You are Growing

This week is another vulnerable personal story coming your way. Ready?

I got rejected.

It’s true. I totally got rejected by a guy.

A friend of mine offered to set me up, and in the spirit of being open and adventurous, I said yes. So, ‘guy’ and I went on a hike. One of my very favorite past times. We got along. Conversation was easy. Not sure there were too many sparks – but that’s not always easy to tell on a hike.

Anyway, a few days later I got an email from ‘guy’ thanking me for a wonderful time and also communicating that he didn’t feel a romantic connection. (Props to him for sending that. I like when people are clear and willing to express their truth.)

Now here’s where the fun part begins.

In the past, I would’ve gone back through our entire time together and wondered what I did ‘wrong’.

Should I have said that?
Should I have told him about that?
Should I have worn make-up or a cuter outfit?

You know those questions. The army of thought invaders sent by the Ego designed to do one thing and one thing only: make you feel bad about yourself.

Well, this time those thoughts didn’t creep in. Instead, I was really proud of myself for showing up as ME! I showed up as I normally would for a hike – no make-up, hat, sunglasses and grungy outfit. That’s me. I like to get dirty.

I was fully myself. I wasn’t trying to be someone ‘guy’ wanted me to be. I was just me. So how can there be anything wrong with that?

I was so clear that this exchange had nothing to do with me. There was nothing ‘wrong’ with it. There was nothing wrong with ‘guy’ and there was nothing wrong with ‘me’. It just wasn’t a fit.

Great. Onto the next.

Now, why am I sharing this? Because we ALL experience rejection in our lives. Rejection from a significant other, job opportunity, friend, university, etc. This is a part of our human experience.

But, we don’t have to take it personally and let that experience define us. We have a choice. (Click to tweet.)

As I shared above, I could’ve just as easily gone into the story of, ‘There’s something wrong with me. I’ll be lonely forever. No man will ever like me.’ And, honestly, this is a story that would’ve taken over my life for weeks or even months in the past.

But, today, I went instead, with the truth that, ‘There is NOTHING wrong with either of us.’ And, voila, the presence of growth.

For me, I look at this as proof of the clarity of my intention. I’m very clear about the relationship I want to be in and obviously, this wasn’t it. So, it’s really a beautiful gift allowing me to stay open for what I really do want.

Ultimately, the best thing you can do for yourself is to like who you are – no, LOVE who you are! Get to know yourself and love yourself fully. When you do, there is no room to take rejection so personally. You won’t want to beat yourself up because you’ll know you are awesome.

Which, by the way, you ARE!

In the comments below share one way you’ve grown or how you’ve taken rejection – good or bad.

Also, don’t forget it’s Friday, which means another Feature Friday Gal! She says: “I’m exhausted hating a part of me that will never be “perfect”. I’m looking at it in a new light.” See her full post + give her some comment lovin’ here.

One last thing:

The site is getting a make-over this weekend. Don’t be shocked if you come back in a few days and see a new look!

Thank you for being in this community. I’m truly glad you are here.

Peace + Pleasure,

ps – If you live in Denver, don’t miss out! We are coming your way. Check it out right here.

7 Responses to “How to Know You are Growing”

  1. I love this. It is amazing how difficult it is for us not to show up in such encounters with all of our wounds and fears and ego trips in hand. The other day I read an article about a promising basketball player going to jail for 3 years for kidnapping and assaulting his ex-girlfriend b/c she broke up with him and refused to get back together. Wow! Talk about your ego monster being out of control! It’s so hard to just show up, be true, be real and if it’s not a great fit … o harm, no foul.

    So appreciate you being in space that solid and loving with yourself. And super appreciate that ‘guy’ writing an honest email instead of game playing and blowing you off, etc. Swift, kind honesty is such a beautiful thing.

    And I SUPER applaud your “spirit of adventure” in letting yourself be set up in the first place. That I really admire. I’m still a chicken in that department. 🙂


  2. Amber, I’m going to wear my bodyheart necklace, today–in honor of your courage and strength.

  3. That is terrific! I could do this. Today. At 69. Bless you for loving yourself years ahead!!!!

  4. Our awesome & amazing Amber is human!
    Thank you so much for always being real with us!
    I too love honesty even when it makes me squirm.
    Onward and upward, my dear, with NO FEAR!

  5. Today I asked for something I wanted. The people I asked couldn’t help me.

    But I did ask. Normally I wouldn’t just said no to myself before anyone else could.

    So did I get what I wanted? No but I let the situation play itself out instead telling myself no from the get go…

  6. Some parents teach us at an early age to love ourselves for who we r at an early age. Some of us are slow learners or just hard headed,but until we accept this life can be a little more difficult.

  7. @Cris – I always love hearing from you! Thank you for your beautiful support and encouragement. I did put myself out there and that felt good. Congrats on your NYC trip! xo

    @Justin – You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you.

    @Vicki – It’s all a process, right? Love connecting with you here and hopefully in the Beauty Booster too! xo

    @Alba – Exactly! I [heart] you! xoxo

    @Jayme – That’s AWESOME Jayme. You are practicing the muscle of asking for what you want. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Soon it will become your new programming and you WILL get a yes. Thanks for sharing…and for taking the risk to ask. xo

    @Bob – So true. Thank you for sharing here. xo

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Amber’s keynote was engaging and positive. I’m pretty sure every girl left that room feeling a little bit better about herself and inspired to work towards body peace. I was so impressed with the entire experience and am grateful that you came to our house for Fat Talk Free Week. You all left a lasting, positive impression.

— Megan Ladd, CA

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