I shared exciting news last week on Instagram. If you missed it, you can see it here.
In essence, I took the advice I shared in my last blog, and decided to stop waiting, and order my dream car: a Tesla. As thrilling as this moment was, it was also terrifying. I was saying “yes” to a bigger version of myself—to a bigger vision for my life.
I’m not usually emotional about cars—as long as it gets me from point A to point B safely, I don’t really care. I’ve been driving a Honda Civic for the last three years. And, yet, there was something about this car. I lit up inside when I saw it or read about it (I signed up for Tesla’s email list a year ago)!
A part of me assumed that that car, and the life I imagined came with it, was above me. A girl from a single-parent home in Charleston, WV, did not belong in that car. Yet, here I was, about to buy it, and step into another life!
I woke up the next morning looking like this:
I felt sick as a dog. I went from elated to deflated overnight.
What the heck happened?
The good news is I knew, because I had experienced this before. The last time was right after I hired my life coach at a rate of $30K per year. I woke up the next morning with a sore throat and runny nose.
So, what’s the deal?
It’s what Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, calls hitting an Upper Limit. According to him, we have an internal thermostat setting for how much love, success, happiness, intimacy and creativity we allow ourselves. When things get too good and push us beyond our happiness set point, an internal response immediately gets triggered to put us back into “balance.”
It’s a form of protection that plays out as self-sabotage. For example, if you’ve ever had a big win (a promotion, new relationship, standing your ground and speaking up for the first time), only to then get rear-ended, injured, drop your phone in the toilet, over eat, over spend, get into a fight with your partner, etc. It’s probably not due to bad luck. You most likely have hit your Upper Limit.
And, this, my friend, is good news. It’s an opportunity to reset that inner thermostat—but you have to be conscious in order to do it. Here are some steps for resetting your inner thermostat:
Step One: Acceptance
Know that Upper Limits are a part of life. You will most likely butt up against them time and time again. So, don’t beat yourself up or judge yourself when you do.
Instead, use each one as a learning moment. There is so much growth that accompanies them when they arrive, but you have to turn towards them in order to reap the rewards. Which means, you must pay attention to your internal and external experience. You have to notice when you block yourself from feeling good—and exactly how you do that. Maybe you use worry, criticism, blame, negative future fantasizing, confrontation, or self-sabotaging behaviors—or all of the above—to get yourself back to your comfortable happiness set point.
When you find yourself using one or all of these coping mechanisms, it’s time to get to work and move onto the next step.
Step Two: Reflection
Pause to find out what’s going on inside you. Get curious about the part of you that’s so uncomfortable experiencing this much goodness.
Your own personal inquiry is a powerful tool here. Ask yourself questions like: What just happened? What is triggering this upset inside of me? What am I telling myself about feeling this good? What is the cost of having this new promotion/weight loss/Tesla/joy? What will I lose? What part of me feels threatened?
Slow down and give yourself time to allow the answers to unfold. What’s taking place is a fundamental misunderstanding and your answers will help you see that more clearly. Then, from that vantage point, you’ll be able to give yourself, and all the wounded, worried parts of you, what they really need—love, compassion and attention.
My inner seven-year-old was the part of me that was terrified and needed love. She was the one who decided that the “good life” wasn’t meant for her. She was afraid I would leave her behind. So, I slowed down and spent time with her.
Step Three: Offer Yourself Loving Compassion
One way I do this is through writing. I open a blank document on my computer and go from there. You can use a journal or legal pad, whatever works for you. The point is to connect to the part of you that’s confused and hurting—to let that part be seen and heard.
I gave my inner seven-year-old a voice. I wrote whatever she said and then responded to her from my most loving, perspective today. It’s a dialogue I got to have with a confused part of myself, so we could heal and form a new understanding—that she (my inner seven-year-old) is also meant for the good life! I told her it’s ok for her to have all her heart desires. And, that I wasn’t going to leave her behind.
This was a powerful healing opportunity, which all Upper Limit moments offer.
Step Four: Expansion Experiment
Take on your own “Good Experiment.” Ask yourself: How good can I stand it? How good am I willing to let my life be?
Then see. Test it out. See how good you can take it.
This is a form of stretching. You may find it easy to expand into greater joy, more love, and heightened creativity. Or, you may find it challenging. And, if that’s the case, go back and follow Steps 1-3 to come to greater peace, acceptance, and love.
Have you experienced an Upper Limit Issue? If so, how did you get through it? I’d love to hear from you! Please share in the comments below.
By: Amber Krzys
Last weekend I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within along with 9,999 other people. It was my first live Tony experience and it was like a personal development rock concert! I’m serious—a rave of music, madness, lights, dance, unstoppable energy and personal power.
It was intense and inspiring. So inspiring, I walked on fire! Yep—I’m a firewalker, just like Oprah. Tony spent close to five hours preparing us for the walk, which was a bit much for me. I just wanted to get it over with. I didn’t think about what a badass move it would be or the bragging rights I’d get after!
Tony shared a story about how he put himself into an environment before he was ready. He moved into a castle (literally) before he had the money. He made $38K the year prior and the lease on the castle was way out of his price range. Yet, when he stood inside the majestic stone walls he viscerally and energetically experienced a new vision of his life. He had a direct knowing. I don’t always advocate this, but he put himself in a position where he had to stretch into a bigger version of himself. He couldn’t keep his $38K mindset and live in that castle. That year he went from making $38K to $1M.
Tony’s story got me thinking about waiting. Many of us wait for the perfect circumstances to arrive before we take action. We wait to lose weight before we wear a mini skirt. We wait to have money before we invest in a training program. We wait to get out of debt before we get into a relationship.
In essence, we wait to start living!
Recently, I led a workshop for twenty-five female solopreneurs.
We got real about standing up and owning what it means to be a professional woman and leader today. A lot of women don’t consider themselves “professional.” They think a professional woman wears a business suit and works eighty hours a week. At the workshop, I asked, “What is a professional woman?” We filled an entire white board with definitions, such as, exhausted, overworked, underpaid, and masculine. I was not surprised by these negative stereotypes. I used to think something similar. How could a professional woman be someone who wears pajamas to work?
By not owning that you’re a professional, it’s a disservice to you and your business. The professional woman has choice. She’s an owner of her life and work. She’s powerful.
We also looked at each woman’s relationship with money. If money were your significant other, would it feel nurtured? Do you look forward to spending time with it, or, do you dread and avoid it? How do you feel when you look at your bank and credit card statements? Do you even look?
It was time to get creative. I asked the women, “If anything were possible, if you could wave a magic wand and have anything you wanted, what would you create in the year to come?” Each woman responded in writing, then partnered up and acted out her answers. The room was electric with energy. Imagine twenty-five women, sharing from their heart, with passion and enthusiasm, stretching into a new vision for their life—and acting as if they’d already gotten it! It was exhilarating!
At the end of the day I announced my upcoming Coaching Immersion Adventure (also known as the CIA), a six-month business mastermind training for women with service-based businesses.
I spoke at length with one woman who calls herself a “skin therapist.” She helps people heal their acne from the inside out. Her work is pretty special, and, up until now, she’d only put energy into marketing through online platforms, which left her frustrated, tired and broke. I introduced her to Steve Chandler and Rich Litvin’s book, The Prosperous Coach, my coaching bible.
This work is about slowing down and connecting one-on-one with another human being. It’s about getting into their world, helping them solve their problems and manifest their dreams. Instead of advertising on Facebook and offering a webinar to the masses, hoping someone might sign up (hope isn’t an effective strategy), I encouraged her to invite people to speak with her, to have conversations, and make proposals if she felt she could support them.
She left feeling excited to test out this new way of doing business. She told me she was very interested in working with me in the CIA, but wanted to wait until she made the money first. (Keyword: Wait!)
Over the following week, she went for it. She had fourteen conversations with prospective clients—none of whom agreed to work with her. But, instead of feeling discouraged and rejected, it fueled her. She loved and believed in this new way of interacting with people and realized how little she knew about enrollment practices. She recognized she needed training and support, and that it didn’t make sense to wait. Choosing to be all in, she enrolled in my program, and, like Tony Robbins, said, “Yes” before she had the money.
In her very next coaching conversation, she enrolled her first $1200 client!
This is often what happens when we start before we think we’re ready—when we stop waiting and fully commit to our vision. We bring a different energetic to the table.
If you’re reading this and wishing you could bring in your first $1200 client or have your first $5K, $10K or even $50K month, then, the Coaching Immersion Adventure may be the ideal training for you.
This six-month program is being offered to eight highly committed, real-deal female solopreneurs. I’ve got four spaces left. I don’t take people in this program unless I whole-heartedly believe in them.
If you’re interested or would like more information, let’s talk. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org we’ll get something on the calendar.
And, at the very least, check in with yourself to see if there’s an area of your life where you’re waiting. What would happen if just for today, you gave yourself permission to say “Yes” before you were ready?
By: Amber Krzys
One of the tenets Dr. Robert Holden shared in the week lab I spent with him was this:
If you feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably you.
That caused me pause.
Could it be that simple? Deceptively simple. Upon experience and a personal story below, I think so.
When I started to explore where I felt like something was missing in my life, what came forward was more intimacy in my relationship. It’s been so easy to blame our schedule conflicts, travel, the move and our full lives, that I didn’t slow down to take greater responsibility.
I chose to blame the circumstances and wait until the external changed (which could be a very long time considering we are renovating our entire house), instead of taking ownership and creating what I wanted right now.
So, I decided to share my feelings with my partner—not from a place of making him wrong or me wrong, but from a place of courageous sharing. He listened with his heart as I talked about how I wanted to feel more connected and spontaneous. How I wanted more play in our little relationship bubble.
Being the man he is, he got in action right away! And, this is where the story comes in and gets good. (By the way, I feel highly uncomfortable sharing this story, BUT, it most clearly represents this concept in action.)
We returned from a hike—where we had the above mentioned conversation—and we only had a short time before we needed to check out of the hotel we were staying in. I hopped in the shower to quickly get ready, gather our stuff and get on the road home. (Afterall, I had lab with Robert Holden starting that night and I didn’t want to be late!)
While I was in the shower, my sweet man unexpectedly hopped in with me. I said (in not a very nice tone), “What are you doing? We have to leave and get on the road. I only have 10 minutes to get ready. Get out.”
And, just like that, he turned right around, slightly confused and defeated.
The poor guy. He was only doing exactly what I said I wanted not a few minutes before. But, I didn’t see it. I wasn’t present for it. In my head, I was already packing my things and on the road!
I was the thing missing.
The good news is I realized what happened right away and apologized. I took responsibility and acknowledged my guy’s effort to be spontaneous, and also, my inability to receive in that moment.
This was powerful for me. I got to see how my rigid, rule-making self gets in the way. And, that triggered an even deeper exploration. Did I really want what I said I wanted? Because, if I did, that meant letting my partner in my heart even more. That meant letting go of my self-image even more.
Was I ready for that?
See, not only was I the one missing in my presence, I was also missing in my heart. I was withholding as a form of protection. And, dropping that layer of protection was required to have more connection, intimacy, play and spontaneity. (Talk about freakin’ terrifying!)
All of this awareness came from that one seemingly simple moment, that really could’ve just passed me by.
I think we create safe distances with all people in our lives. Like imaginary borders. Our partner can get ‘this close’, our co-worker ‘this close’, our sister ‘this close’. What I’m doing is playing with lessening the distance just a little with my man. Allowing him to be a little closer than I am comfortable.
I’m still testing this out, but so far it feels pretty good.
Now I turn it over to you. Do you feel like something is missing in your life? And, if so, is there a possibility that that very thing might be you?
Feel free to share your thoughts and experience in the comments. I always love connecting with you there.
By: Amber Krzys
I shared an email with the bodyheart business community a couple weeks ago. (Didn’t know there’s a separate community for that? Click here to be a part of it.)
I decided to go ahead and share that same post with you. In it I talk about what you can expect from bodyheart moving forward—at least, where I am with it today. I also give insights into my creative process. Whether you are creating a business, a book, a healthier body, a painting, a song, a meal or anything, creativity is a part of your life. And learning how to flow with Her is so valuable.
So, check out the post below and let me know what you think in the comments!
It’s been a while since I’ve written, my entrepreneurial friend. I’ve been in a big phase of transition and transformation in my life and business. I find when I’m in these places that radio silence and stillness fuel me. I need space to hear the voice of my heart.
I’ve known for a while bodyheart is expanding, but I haven’t been clear on what that means, or even looks like.
Should bodyheart stay bodyheart and I create another business name for the expansion? Should it all fit under the umbrella of bodyheart? Should I let bodyheart go completely? Should I still include body image support? But, what about money, career, relationship, spirituality and life? All the places I’ve grown so much since starting my business (in my garage!) back in 2009.
So many questions. And, none of those questions could be answered from within my head. Trust me, I tried. I spent months trying to figure it out. Trying to come to an answer. Sitting down with my journal and looping around these questions without having much insight or success.
I was forcing creativity’s hand. And, guess what? She doesn’t work like that. She doesn’t show up on command and perform. That’s not how she’s wired.
See, I felt this pressure inside to come to a conclusion and take action, in order to stay relevant, not fall behind and not lose everything I built. It felt like I needed to get this rebrand up as fast as possible or it would hurt my business if I didn’t.
I share this with you because as entrepreneurs it’s easy to feel behind and think you have to have the answer now or you’ll be forgotten or become irrelevant. That you’ll lose everything you’ve built. Or, that you’ll never get “it” off the ground. These false ideas create so much pressure inside. And that pressure is like a shrinking metal box that closes in on you until you have no room for creation.
My business goals for this year were/are:
1. Lead a 6-month Mastermind group supporting coaches in growing their practice.
2. Rebrand bodyheart.
3. Write a book.
The first one came to completion a few weeks ago! The Coaching Immersion Adventure, or CIA, was the MOST incredible experience. (See a pic here.) I worked with a select group of powerful women in a way I never had—supporting them in standing in their leadership, serving from their heart and upleveling their wealth consciousness. It was amazing!
What you’ll appreciate about this group is that it was birthed from my heart. From pure inspiration. All I had to do was show up and say yes. So easy!
Now, the other two – the rebrand and book – not so much. They feel big and mighty and not as clear. After four months into the year and NO result, I felt like a failure—that I had lost my connection to Creativity.
So, I surrendered. Only because I had to. I didn’t know what else to do. I decided to stop focusing on the rebrand and the book and just get into my life. I even gave myself a new time line. I wasn’t going to worry about anything until September. If, by then, I didn’t have some kind of inspiration, then I would deal with it.
This decision was THE best decision I could’ve made. I was free. I could just play.
Maybe you are in a place of transition in your business. Maybe you aren’t sure exactly what your own evolution is. What the next focus will be. Today’s email is to offer you comfort and encouragement. If that’s where you are, it’s really ok.
It’s not easy sitting in the discomfort and trusting that Life will bring you more clarity. One of my intentions this year is to let Life lead. It’s definitely NOT been easy for me to take the summer off and give myself until September to allow the inspiration to arise.
AND, the good news is, I can feel the spark of inspiration inside of me. She’s ignited and clarity is coming. In fact, in some ways, clarity is already here.
I was just sitting on a plane a couple days ago when a bunch of words came into my head—out of nowhere. Here’s what I wrote:
“bodyheart is about love. Not romantic love—though that’s a part of it. It’s about a deeper, more fulfilling love. A love that exists and is present in you at all times. A love of your Self. Your True Self.
You are Love. Your essence is loving and accessing that place inside—learning to reside in that more and more—creates more ease, more joy, more peace and more fulfillment in your life. In every area.
This is what bodyheart is about. It’s about your relationship with yourSelf. Your Big Self. It’s about your relationship with your body. Your money. Your career. Your spouse. Your family. Your success. Your play. Your work. And so much more.
It’s about getting out of your head and into your body, so you can experience the Wisdom of your Heart.”
I don’t know if this is THE fit. If this is what the next evolution of bodyheart will be. I gotta say, it feels pretty good right now. It feels clearer than it’s been, and I’m sure grateful for that.
Ideas are born when they are ready. They have a life of their own. This is what I’m learning to trust. (Tweet It.)
My message today is to hang in there. To know you aren’t forgotten. That what’s in your heart is powerful and meant to be shared with the world. The answer will come in it’s own time and when there’s enough space inside for it to seed and grow.
Are you giving yourself enough downtime for that to happen? Are you doing less and being more? Because, the uncomfortable truth is, that’s a requirement.
Take this message today as a love note from The Universe, reminding you it has your back! That you have permission to slow down, relax and breathe. The answers are inside of you. You just have to hear the whispers.
By: Amber Krzys
I was recently attending a conference led by uber-inspiring coach, author and speaker, Robert Holden. I had the privilege of participating in two workshops with him lasting a total of 11 days—lucky me! I’ll be sharing more about my learnings from him in a later post.
Before I dive in, a little back story…
One of the things I’ve been working with over the last year is embracing my ever-changing body. Due to some hormonal and lifestyle changes, my body looks different than she did a year ago. Definitely different than what she looked like five years ago! I know this is ok—even to be expected—AND, if I’m completely honest, it’s been quite challenging at times, causing me to pause and look at my work with new eyes.
I get that this is a beautiful opportunity for me to deepen in the healing I’ve done with my body and to take this work to the next level, and there’s a part of me that just doesn’t want to! (Can’t I just be done with this already? – begs my inner voice.)
As much as I would like to say this adventure was joyful and amazing—it wasn’t. Well, it was and it wasn’t. It forced me to come up against the part of me that is so attached to looking a certain way. The part of me that believes my worth and value comes from what I look like.
This is an aspect I haven’t spent much time with in a while…and, I guess she missed me because she came back with a vengeance!
Fast forward to Robert Holden’s event…
We were doing an exercise on courage where we were asked to think of a courageous act we could take that would support us in moving forward with our goals. The act that was present for me was to wear one of my new dresses. The one that was a beautiful color, but made of thin jersey cotton and didn’t hide any of my lumps and bumps.
I woke up the next morning full of anxiety and thoughts about whether to stand in my courage and wear the dress or shrink. I chose to rise and wear it. I was really proud of myself until about lunch when it was time to take off my comfy sweater (the room was cold) that covered my most concerning areas.
I was walking from the lobby to the pool area to sit with friends and eat when I got lost in my head. I felt fully exposed. There was nothing covering my dress and only a thin layer between the eyes of others and my cellulite. I was so consumed with what they were thinking of me. Were they judging me as fat and unattractive? I even tried to compensate by walking a little taller, with a bit of a strut.
I didn’t even know what happened. It took me a moment to recover.
I was aware of about five people coming up to me asking me if I was okay. “Ok? Ok from what?”
The awareness hit—OMG! I just slammed into a glass window thinking it was an open door to the pool area!
I SLAMMED into a GLASS WINDOW—leaving a full on face print and all.
Wow. The Universe certainly has a sense of humor! Luckily, I wasn’t hurt. That glass was double-paned. But, I was a bit frazzled.
I realized how NOT present I was. And, I wondered how often that happened. How much of my life was I missing because I was lost in my thoughts about my body?
I was so grateful for that Divine Intervention. It literally woke me up and shattered my priorities. My life was happening and I wasn’t showing up for it.
Right then and there I set my intention to see clearly. To get out of my head and into the world around me. To connect with Life.
It’s funny, this year for me is about letting Life lead and surrendering to the Grace that already is. Well, it’s kinda hard to do that when I’m not present.
How often are you lost in your head and missing the beautiful moments Life is trying to gift you?
Allow this post to be your wake up call and save yourself from running into a glass window!
By the way, here’s a picture of the dress!
By: Amber Krzys
I promised an update a few weeks ago with details about the process of selling my house. Which, by the way, is official. I am no longer the owner of the sunshine house. She is now sharing her light with a new family. (That’s her below.)
This was my first time selling a house, so I wasn’t sure what it would be like. Would it be easy? Difficult? How long would it take? I had no idea.
And, what I can tell you is I made a choice from the get-go that orchestrated the most graceful, easy experience. I’m still stunned when I think about it. I can’t help but smile from ear-to-ear when I look back over the last few months.
That choice was: I decided to surrender the process to Spirit—to get out of my way and let Life do her thing. To NOT control the experience, but to be in flow with what was.
In today’s blog, I’m sharing the results of this subtle, yet powerful decision, as well as how I walked through it in case you want to test out your own surrender experiment and have your mind-blown too!
It all started with a book recommended to me by my coach—The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer.
It’s the first book I’ve read in a long time that I could NOT put down. I’m serious, I’d be out at dinner with a friend and think, “I can’t wait to get back home and read this book.”
Who was I? I’m not an avid reader. In fact, reading tends to make me fall asleep; thus my love of Audible. But, for some reason, this book had me hook, line and sinker.
The Surrender Experiment was demonstrating an entirely new way of being in the world—one where Grace was at it’s foundation, instead of control, struggle and fighting reality. It felt like it was speaking to me on a deep level and inviting me to play in a way I never considered. In a new realm of possibility.
One of the primary principles of the book is the idea that Nature doesn’t mess up. That She has an innate knowing for what is needed and will best serve. All we have to do is allow Her to do it.
And, that idea set up the rules for my game—the game of selling my house. With this, I decided to run my own Surrender Experiment.
What I did was deceptively simple. I set intentions for how I’d like the process to unfold. Things like:
I intend for my tenant to find a new place a week before her required move-out date.
I intend for very little repairs so we can list the house in a timely fashion.
I intend to sell the house quickly with grace and ease.
I intend to list the house by xxx date.
I intend to have only one thriving open house.
I intend to know exactly what price to list it for.
I intend to receive multiple offers.
I intend to sell the house above asking price.
All of these intentions and a few more were formed and released to Spirit—including, this or something better for the highest good of all concerned.
See, that’s the part I struggled with in the past. I wanted it to be my way, so I didn’t actually let go and flow with what was. I tried to control the experience in order to hold onto my vision.
This time was different. I whole-heartedly let go and trusted.
That didn’t mean I didn’t have moments of doubt and concern. “What if the house doesn’t sell quickly, then we’ll fall out of escrow on the new house we want! What if we don’t get our asking price? What if the renter can’t find a new place in time? What if???”
And, each time those thoughts came up, I reminded myself of another principle from The Surrender Experiment—I am not my thoughts. If I can hear them and see them, then they, clearly are not me. They are just my ego-referenced thinking, my chattering mind, that I don’t have to accept as true.
I practiced this time and time again. Reminding myself to trust that Life has my back. That no matter what, I would be ok. I would sell my house at some point. And, if we fell out of escrow on the new house, then that house wasn’t meant for us and we would find something even better. What I discovered was that I could relax in God’s hands.
Every single one of my intentions came true. My tenant got out early. The repairs were minimal. I was able to list by the date I wanted. I was so clear about the price of the house—even the list price had significant meaning. We held one open house and had 51 people come through. We received three multiple offers over asking price. And, the rest is history.
Needless to say, my mind was blown.
Could it be that simple? Could Life really know better than me?
My answer to that question is yes. And, I actually find a lot of comfort in that. I don’t have to know all the answers or do it all on my own. For me, that is radical!
You now know what I did and the results that came out of my internal and external actions. Maybe you feel inspired to test out your own Surrender Experiment? Boy, if you do, I’d love to hear your results. And, if you have questions about what I did, you can share those in the comments below.
May you experience the tremendous gift of allowing Life to lead.
By: Amber Krzys
Over the summer I had the privilege of attending a workshop led by the most elegant, feminine and authentically powerful woman named Nancy Kline. Being in her presence was a highlight of my life. I mean that sincerely.
Nancy (above in green) has built a career supporting people in thinking for themselves. Her work is profound and meaningful – and something I am deepening in within my life.
In our time together she shared about her latest book called – Living with Time to Think: The Goddaughter Letters. This book is a series of letters she wrote in response to three important questions her goddaughters asked her.
One of the letters touched my heart so deeply (I had tears streaming down my face), I wrote Nancy to see if I could share that letter with YOU. I’m grateful she said yes. Below you’ll find the chapter titled Every Wrinkle.
Here’s a short excerpt:
“I wonder whether you have decided to love every wrinkle, to see each one as a sign of increased beauty. I wonder whether you actually love each one…And I wonder what it would take for the whole world to love them, too.
We need old women to show us how to be beautiful.
I tried out that idea at Cosmopolitan once…”
I’m leading a FREE call next week to continue exploring this topic of body and beauty.
In my experience, nothing tests the loathing to loving scale more than summer time and bathing suit season. Just the idea of showing our perceived body flaws really brings up some stuff. And, this free call is about supporting you in moving through that stuff so you can experience a summer of FUN and FREEDOM.
I remember the first summer I spent NOT feeling concerned about what I looked like in my bathing suit. Not worrying about what others’ thought of me. It was an incredible experience – that is available to YOU too.
If you want what I’m talking about, then, sign up for this free event at www.feelgoodinyourbikini.com. By the way, reading this article is a requirement for attending the call!
By: Amber Krzys
As a coach, I think it’s important to work with a coach…and my coach, Michelle Bauman, is brilliant! She shared something with me a few weeks ago that I keep coming back to. I keep deepening into it and even, sharing it with my clients.
It’s so valuable and poignant I want to share it with you. She said:
“I once heard Caroline Myss say that what causes people unhappiness is chasing after a life that’s not theirs. It was so powerful for me to hear that – and it got me so much more curious about what is MY life – MY path – who am I called to serve – who are my people to coach. Who do I want to spend my life energy with? Who is asking me for my help? etc. I’m so much happier and more fulfilled when I’m true to my own calling. And I’ve spend plenty of time looking at what others are doing – attempting to use what they are doing to inspire me to “go bigger” or “do more” etc. And, it’s an interesting process to discern what is inspiring in others, what triggers my own ego desire to be “special” – and what does my heart truly want.”
She’s talking about the courage to live YOUR life. Not someone else’s. And, not the one your ego tells you you should live, but the one your heart expands into.
Doing this is a courageous act. And, it’s not like you do it once and it’s done. You get an opportunity to choose it every day. In every aspect of your life – in your work, in your relationships, even in your body.
Are you chasing after a dream that’s not yours?
I certainly have in my past – especially when it came to my body. I was chasing a dream of a body that wasn’t mine. A body that wasn’t possible for me. And day in and day out, I lived in a torturous cycle of punishment, guilt, shame and embarrassment. I considered myself and my body a disappointment…and, it totally sucked.
I just kept holding onto the position that if my body were different, my life would be better. That when I was taller, thinner, with larger breasts and no cellulite, THEN I could wear a bikini. Then I could find love. Then I could wear skinny jeans.
I thought a thinner body was the key.
I didn’t know it then, but I was missing out on so much. I was not only missing out on all that body was and could do. I was missing out on the beautiful relationship that exists between she and I now. I was missing out on experiences and pleasures. I was missing out on life.
If you are reading this and thinking this IS me too. That you are chasing after a body that’s not yours, then I invite you to slow down, take a breath and join me for a special event I’m hosting:
I’m leading a complimentary call for you. On it, I’m going to be sharing more about what I did to stand in MY body. To fully own HER – and care for her…and ultimately free myself so that I could stop missing out and start living full out!
I’ll also be opening the line for individual coaching – meaning, you will have an opportunity to work something personal and specific to you.
If this sounds like something you want to be a part of, click the link below and enter your name and email address on the form on that page. You’ll receive all the call-in details – including the date, time and call-in number after.
And, if you don’t want to be a part of it, that’s totally fine too. This is all about you attuning to what YOUR heart wants.
I’m excited to connect with you on the call so, together, we can explore how you can open your heart to YOUR body and live your life more full out.
PS: Operation Feel Good 2015 has begun! It’s not too late to be a part of it, hop on here.
By: Amber Krzys
Recently I’ve been traveling quite a bit, speaking across the country at colleges (shout out to NAU, NIU, KSU, & UTC). Something happened during one of these trips that I wasn’t so proud of. It was something I did that served as a reminder that there are always opportunities to deepen in our compassion and loving for ourselves and others.
Here’s the scene: It’s the end of a long day of travel – one that began hours earlier and ended later than it should have due to weather and delays. I’m tired and cranky and just want to get to my hotel.
This particular plane was small, so I had to valet check or pink tag my bag. If you’ve not done that before it means you drop your carry-on bag at the gate and pick it up at the gate when you arrive at your destination.
So, I’m in a line full of people waiting for their bags along the gateway. Two lines have formed against both sides leaving a space in the middle so that people exiting the plane can get through. We are all waiting impatiently. It’s like 1 degree – literally – and everyone is cold and ready to get on with their evening.
I look up and see a man stop right in the middle. I think “Is he planning to stand there and wait for his bag? Not a good idea. He’s gonna block traffic. What’s he doing?”
He proceeds to stand in the middle. People are trying to get around him and he isn’t moving.
After a little while, he finally heads back to the front and stands in the spot where our bags – ok, my bag – will be dropped. Now, I’m starting to get frustrated. It seems like such common sense to me. “Get out of the way! What a total jerk!”
(You see, I had lots of compassion and loving for this man in this moment! Not!)
An older woman across from me was watching the man too. She seemed curious about him (whereas I seemed totally annoyed)…so, when he walked back into the middle again, she asked him one simple question: “Sir, do you need some help?”
The man replied by shaking his head yes. He said, “I usually have a wheelchair meeting me. I’m not used to all these people and I’m not sure where I’m supposed to stand.”
(Face palm. Who’s the jerk now?! That would be me.)
Then he says – stuttering a little bit: “I’m recovering from a concussion, so my thoughts don’t work like they used to.”
(OMG – now, I feel like a total a**hole!)
I made so many assumptions about him because I was so concerned about myself. About my own crankiness and getting out of the cold and into my hotel room. I immediately applied some loving kindness to myself – as a few parts of me wanted to judge me as a total jerk and an a**hole. And, I knew those kinds of judgments don’t help at all.
Then I looked for the learning – which was a beautiful reminder that the stories that go on in my head aren’t true a lot of the time. The assumptions I made about this man or make about anyone, including myself for that matter, aren’t usually true. And, the only way to know the truth is to find out by asking. Which is what that beautiful woman did – “Sir, do you need some help?”.
Simple. Loving. And full of compassion.
I was so grateful to witness this kindness. To see it modeled so beautifully in front of me with such ease and grace.
And, I’m sharing it with you today to remind you as well. When you next find yourself in a heated or annoyed state, ask yourself – is what I’m telling myself about this circumstance true? 100% true? Then see if you can find an opening for a little more kindness and compassion.
Kindness wasn’t my first response in that moment – and, that’s ok because I’m human AND I got a valuable lesson out of it.
If you have a story where you maybe weren’t your kindest and most loving self – you are welcome to share about it in the comments. That way I won’t be the only one! And, I invite you to share your learning from that experience too.
Thank you for being here and being a part of this community.
PS: Operation Feel Good 2015 starts on Sunday! If you want in, hop on here.
By: Amber Krzys
I’ve been traveling for speaking the last couple weeks – which is always fruitful for sourcing good writing material. The thing I’ve witnessed and been most struck by on this trip is courage.
I think it’s easy in our culture to downplay courage. To make it not count. There’s this idea that courage only counts when it’s grand. That you have to save someone from a burning building or put your life on the line.
But what about the courage it takes to live YOUR life each day? To say no – even when it might hurt someone’s feelings? To ask someone on a date and risk rejection? To show up in all of your uniqueness (aka weirdness – we all got some) and be YOU?
I think the most courageous act you will make in your entire life is – to be YOU.
In my travels this last week, I’ve experienced students – inspiring students – willing to do that. Willing to take a stand for their humanity and share their vulnerability.
Northern Illinois University created a Self-ie Perspective gallery – where students took unfiltered selfies and shared their stories about how they pick themselves and their bodies apart. There were hundreds of images and stories posted along the walls – so much TRUTH in that room.
I actually got teary-eyed walking through the gallery. I saw these gorgeous, fresh-faced young men and women standing in their vulnerability in order to serve each other and their community.
I also walked away even more committed to supporting you in feeling good in your body. In discovering the sacredness and sweetness available to you right now – in the body you have.
Beauty and ugliness are two sides of the same coin – meaning, you get to choose which side you want to fuel. No one can force you to flip the coin without your permission. Not society, your friends, your parents – no one. You have a say.
The students below from Northern Arizona University took a stand for their bodies last week. It was such a treat to witness them flip that coin and discover something good – even great – about the body they have.
I invite you to do the same. Whether it’s finding the courage to love your body a little more or to risk telling someone the truth – choosing YOU is where it’s at!
Take a moment and finish this statement in the comments below:
If I were just 1% more courageous, I would…
If you like that stem sentence and want to deepen in your answer, I’ll be speaking at a special event on March 14th in Santa Monica where the foundation IS this question. The #CatalyzeCourage Summit (hosted by InHerShoes) will bring together high school girls with professional women from diverse industries and backgrounds to provide a safe space and launchpad for the girls’ freedom of expression, assertion of passion and pursuit of possibility in every aspect of their lives.
Many of these girls are either first generation students, from underprivileged backgrounds, or are receiving significant amounts of financial aid to pursue their education.
It’s an incredibly exciting day and you can read more about the Summit and how you can attend here.
So looking forward to seeing your answer to the 1% question!
Supporting you in being more YOU today.
PS: Operation Feel Good 2015 is coming up! If you want to join in the fun and be a secret agent spreading joy, hop on the waitlist here.
By: Amber Krzys
The Sizzle Kit was a welcomed ‘pause’ in my day! Everything about this course is just fabulous! My daughter says she has noticed a huge difference in me since I started working on this program 6 weeks ago ~and I am hoping she commits to it sometime soon!